accomplished twins. life is a go
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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