does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
