did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
