Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
