Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize