i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize