Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
