There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize