i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
