I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
