I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
