I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
