shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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