I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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