where am i from again
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
