we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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