we made out on top of his cat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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