No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize