Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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