Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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