The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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