so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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