so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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