I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
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