well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
