....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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