and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
