I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
