Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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