i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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