She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize