Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
