you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
