I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
