I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
