It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
