He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
