..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
