So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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