God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who died my cat blue again?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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