She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
