Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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