I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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