I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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