**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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