dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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