well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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