We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
