It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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