She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
