just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
