My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
