This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need a beard to bite.
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