He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
wow bdsm is so cute
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