so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
