ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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