I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
