they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize