Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
