I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
